were back!

It has been awhile since the last blog entry, much has occured since then. I have finally got my dream bedroom! (which i should have been entitled to since our domain here!) So ive been in that transitional stage of moving upstairs and getting used to the now smaller population in this house ( which suits me just fine!) so yes much workl has to be done to rid us of the remains of the "chaos". Pingu you have to paint a section of my new room lol.

Anyways...In the adult world there are two types of people: career people or people people. now career people are those who relentlessly pursued their goals and reached the top of their game, but then you have people people who sacraficed their dreams for loved ones (or people they just met). Now i think we all come to this critical moment where we asses whether we sacrafice our dreams for someone or sacrafice them for your dream. i believe everybody who graces this earth has to experience this to understand where they are headed. Is it selfish to sacrafice someone you love because they will never love you the way you love them? Or is it foolish to let some one stand in the way of your prized dream? (even if they are not intentionally standing there) either way you lose something precious, which makes you wonder "what do i want more"? As a child dreams come and go and as a teenager love comes and goes, so once you hit the transitional phase of "just turned adult", you notice that none out weight the other and both lose and gain something spectacular. In life you have to risk much to get where you wish to go but people cloud the path to your dreams and dreams cloud your bond to people. As you can tell its hard to process a desicion when they are so equal!

For as long as i can remember i have looked up to military icons (both fact and fictional...mainly fictional) and so wanting to be like them my whole life, naturaly makes me want to be military man. I believe they are by far one of the most honourable types of people in society! they sacrafice so much for the protection of our country and to neutralise threats in other countries. i would give much to achieve this greatness: family, my lego, my beloved xbox and even my hair!!! but two people hold me back without intentionally doing it! GRRRRR! So here i am at this horrible phase, give up the dream or the two friends im so in love with??? Being apart of the military will change me into a better person as i am nothing now. Deep down il never want to be a tradesman or apprentice or office worker or one of those people who hold those lollipops saying slow and stop. No i couldnt do it, it isnt me! i think everyone of these people serve society well but i want to achieve greatness through adventure! Maybe i watch too many action movies or maybe my heads just in the clouds, or maybe all of the above! All i know is that i crave that adventure.

I do have side that believes it is a natural born killer (only in the defence of justice!) one terroist could probably kill 30 civilians with an explosive strapped to their torso, they way i think of it is that with each terroist i kill, i save about 30 lives! and if my pingu and bubble are part of that thirty then stuff my hair and lego i will kill those sons of bitches! but then comes the moral and ethical people with their questions as too who really correct. Ijn my opinion everything works in a strange wheel or circle where you cannot have one without the other : if feelings are feelings because they cannot be helped or influenced byt he minds endless thoughts then to that person that is 100% correct (please bare with me i promise im going somewhere with this) if morallay all opinons are equal and all people are equal ( as we do live in a democracy) then all are right no matter what they feel or believe. So my conclusion as to who is correct, terroists or the un? They both are! As we are all equal all are right and we all must fight for what we believe is right which then leads me to believe that war isnt a matter of whos right and wrong, but who is stronger as power. The terrosists believe they are right because of their religeon and i believe im right because im neutralising a threat to my loved ones. No one can really judge either side as wrong, nature must simply take its course, whatever the outcome.

so that was a bit off track, and this is my longest blog so far! hmmmm choices choices, so lost right! Does anyone know how to come to a desicion on this?